Choosing Schools

So, when the monkey-man finally remembered to apply to schools for fall '08, he made a list of all the schools he would ideally like to apply to including;

Wharton, Harvard, Stanford, Michigan, Columbia, London, INSEAD, NYU, Chicago, UCLA

Obviously this was way too many schools given the short amount of time he had, so I asked him to put the schools in categories of "love to go" and "LOVE to go" while I made my own categories of "like to live" and "LOVE to live".

In the end his LOVE's were:  Harvard, Stanford, and London

My LOVE's:  London, NYU, Harvard

Obviously his choices were based on curriculum, quality of school, and fit whereas my choices were based on cities I have yet to live in.  Actually, I never wanted to live in Boston for Harvard, but I thought I would just be so proud to say my monkey was going to Harvard!

Unfortunately, my NYU got cut from the list as it just didn't seem to have a good fit for him and we decided on Harvard and London definitely.  I was a little put off by Stanford as we already live in California and I would really like to change states, but the community there for partner's seems pretty tight-knit, there are some jobs available in my field, and I liked their curriculum so much that I was almost tempted to apply!  After some discussion, we also added Wharton to the list since back when he started to think about MBA programs in '06 it was at the top of his list and being from an "inner-city" myself, I know better than to believe even half of the negative opinions of outsiders.

The order of his preference changes everyday and right now Harvard is actually at the bottom of the list and Wharton and Stanford are competing for the top spot of dream school.  

I guess the point of this post is that I really think that partners should voice their opinions on these choices from the beginning.  If you are planning to uproot your life for two years, become the only "bread-winner", and provide all the emotional support that is necessary for a progrm like this, you certainly get to have a say ;) 

**My monkey is at least a little anxious after all!  I mentioned it in passing that I have somehow gotten caught up in the obsession of the waiting game and he said, "yeah, I'm frustrated too."  Of course, that was all he said before moving on to something else.  Why can't I just get over it like that?!  The more I think about it the more I think this is just a way to escape the tons of work I have to do for a somewhat reasonable cause.  Ugh, I'm supposed to be spending the night writing a letter to get more funding for my project to provide nutrition education to low-income communities but here I am blogging about someone else's MBA experience!  Whatever, it's a great break!

Introduction

Introductions are always hard, but I will try my best.

First of all, I love reading the MBA applicant blogs even though I am not applying.  My fiance is. So, as a future "MBA partner" (fingers crossed!), I think a similar blog for people in my shoes, besides the partner's club websites, is needed.  This is especially true for those partners who have been very involved through the entire process as much as I have.  Also, I'm hoping that this blog will relieve some of the stress that I expect to experience as a Partner of an MBA student.  I've read some pretty scary articles about the break-up rate of MBA students as they don't really have time for "real life".  So, I'm hoping that I can provide some insight and archive some memories of what it's like from our side.

The man started talking about applying to MBA programs back in 2006.  We were not engaged then (just living together) but having lived apart for a year before and with no schools in our area that he would want to apply to, he decided to hold off until I finished my own 2-year Master program.  I'll be finishing up in March and graduating in June so now is the perfect time.  

Even though he knew as early as 06 that he was going to apply, neither of us thought of it again until October 2007.  By that time we realized that there was no way that he would be able to make it for Round 1.  Still, he didn't jump on the ball just yet as a lot of family issues came up and somehow everything got pushed back until December.  He studied for the GMAT for two weeks, took the test on Dec. 15th (got a great score, I'm proud to say!), began outlining the essay questions for the next few days, and finally officially started writing essays on the 23rd in the midst of much holiday celebration.  

Everything was completely last minute and exhausting for both of us.  I was his only editor and I am a very tough critic questioning almost every sentence he wrote.  Sometimes, I didn't really read the essay at all and simply gave it back to him saying that I thought he could do more. Deceitful I know, but I have known him to be a great writer in some of the things he has written for me and I really wanted it to be his best work.  I wanted to be able to read it and hear the voice of the man I love come through every single essay, even the essays about things that I know nothing about like all the technical stuff he does as an engineer.  

*Sidebar tip to other perfectionist partners:  do NOT write the essays for your applicant.  This was very tempting for me as I love to write and I have a much more flattering view of my man than he has of himself.  They need to complete this on their own no matter how much you think you know best.  I know that if I wrote his essays and he got rejected I would feel totally responsible and if he got admitted with those essays he would feel completely undeserving.  So, all around it's best to just let them do it on their own.  However, if they ask you to criticize be honest.  For my part, my main assessments were based on whether or not I thought the person that I know came through or not and if the examples given were balanced for each application (professional vs. personal).  I only gave my approval when I could say without a doubt that I heard him and not something that seemed like a sample from one of the many sites out there.  On the one essay for Stanford that I think every applicant has a hard time with (what matters to you most and why?), I sent it back so many times with my only comment being "this isn't you" (much to his frustration).  It was very hard for him, but the end result was fantastic and really him.  So much so, that if he doesn't get admitted, I think he'll really feel that it was because he just wasn't a good fit and be able to move on knowing that it probably wouldn't have been a good idea for him to go there.

I really pushed him hard on this as whether or not he gets in will have a huge impact on both of our lives.  So, I stayed up late into the night with him sitting on our sofa with our laptops. While he wrote and rewrote essays, I researched the schools further (location, apartment prices, job availability), checked out other applicants, and looked for more job opportunities for him just in case.  I stressed out with him when none of his recommenders had submitted their rec's the night before they were due and even did a little detective work to find the home phone number of one person who we could not contact by email to remind him of the due date. Everyone got them in on time (whew!) and we celebrated big when the last application was submitted. 

Once everything was submitted, we both had to get back to real life and this is where we differ. He is infinitely patient about all things and pretty much let it go once he knew that his applications had turned complete.  His life goes on.  I am not, nor have I ever been patient about anything!  This waiting game is killing me.  I'm pathetic.  When I was applying for my MPH I actually got up at 4am and drove to desert to meet a curandero (don't know if I spelled it right, but it's a traditional spiritual type person who apparently can see into the future) with my best friend's aunt as a translator and asked "will I get into X school if I apply?"  he said yes and so I was able to submit my application with confidence and let the whole thing go.  I did not go see him this time around and I'm kicking myself in the butt for it.  However, I really do think that the application process really was a good experience for him whether or not he gets in.

In any case, I'm hoping that this blog will help me get through wait and hopefully provide a place for other future MBA partners to read about experiences from something other than the schools partner's club website.  Also, I'll try to include as much info directly from my partner as he continues to move through this process for all those applicants out there.

FYI-R2 Schools (in no particular order):

Wharton

Harvard

Stanford

London